London Calling!!!

A very sad person once told me that you only live once; being an agnostic I chose not to argue my theory of reincarnation as that often labels you as a Buddhist.
Being ‘on the fence’ I had to take into account that this concept could be true and decided to live by it, eventually adopting the Yes Man theory (you’ve seen or heard of the film). Since then I’ve made my beloved trips to London a regular occurrence, as strong friendships and shopping sprees are a religion worth worshipping!
When I go to London, I go in style. This to me means an empty suitcase to fill up, cheap coach travel and plenty of molar to flash on Camden market!
You can go to London and visit Buckingham Palace, Piccadilly Circus, Hyde Park or The London Eye, but for the alternative few who seek adventure, there is always something a little diverse.

First a tip for travelling, if like me you prefer to travel cheaply, you must understand that cheap often means LONG!
The average National Express journey from Peterborough is about two and a half hours; add that to your excitement and you have approximately 5670 anxious foot taps ahead; unless you bring something to do.
Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics are a sure fire way to pass the time, as you will be so engrossed in study you will forget your destination - or shamelessly fall asleep from boredom.

Jump on the Piccadilly Line to East Hounslow and make your way to Kingston upon Thames. Chill out with a cold cider by the river and take in the scenery- then hold your breath! The charming old local tramp that belches Special Brew has come to say hello. Think that’s normal? This one shouts “Happy Birthday” at you, when it’s actually your birthday.

In Kingston, bask in awe at another wonder. Known to some as “Man with the magic tooth”, as he eats and drinks, his front left tooth miraculously disappears and reappears right before your very eyes- to the point where you think you’ve had one too many JD’s or someone’s spiked them!
This happy individual will entertain all throughout the night and early hours of the morning.

Get your London legs on, because in London nothing moves slowly...apart from tourists! Learn to weave, leap, dive and hell at the idiots that fail to put one foot in front of another. Despite rumours, Zone Two is often worse than Zone One for this kind of pavement theft. Oh and for those that didn’t know, London legs is a term used often and translates in slang as, “Move your bloody arse.”

Whilst heaving your luggage around Victoria Coach Station as you run to your final destination, take two minutes to stop for a 30 Pence Piss. A common but unnoticed London attraction, where public urination (that old beloved past time), soon becomes a reality when your purse/wallet protrudes a moth that lay dormant until Saturday nights 4th cosmopolitan.