New Year Pandemics

On the dawn of each New Year, records stream wildly on the media of the newest foreign affliction. In 1999 it was mad cow disease, in 2009 swine flu reached UK land and now a bird flu pandemic threatens to cross Chinese waters to infect the brits.
Is it simply media spin mixed with paranoia and ignorance that leads us to hide under our blankets, and tell the boss “it’s S&D”, when only your nose is running - or is there possibly another cause?

After all the excitement of the festive period finally calms down, the turkey gets thrown out, the decorations put away and you munch that last mince pie. There seems to be a worldwide collective downward plummet into New Year illnesses, which later follow onto cold evening droughts of bottle abuse – even though you drank a skinful over Christmas.
Like a trigger, the brand new beginnings seem to follow on the start of coughs, colds and S.A.D (seasonal adjustment disorder).
We all understand that in the coming months, winter will always be a season filled with this kind of national ‘health’. But we can’t deny that sometimes it’s our own attitudes that lead us to the Night Nurse.

All would agree that returning to work plays a big factor in making you feel like hell; it’s not that you necessarily dislike your job, you just don’t rise well before the sun does.
Recently I’ve began to understand those that work the 9-5pm shift. They will happily fall out of their 6am wake up and four bus journeys a day routine.
In the colder months, we all need a few extra hours that we aren’t getting, perhaps like the animals we too should be hibernating. But instead we de-ice our cars, rev the engine and sit in rush hour traffic most of the morning.
The added stress, can lead to depression and then physical illness, in fact if you don’t recognise the pattern, it might keep going around in circles.

The media often point the finger at numerous causes, spreading the statistics and ‘facts, then forget to flag up the one thing that funnily enough, might be the real cause of our weak immune systems.
On top of this, the second January hits, every girl in eyeshot begins to panic about the 4lbs they’ve gained. Creating mass female starvation, where 500 calories a day is greedy.
Zumba and the latest fitness craze are a must every weekday night, followed by fatigue and flu like symptoms.
The latest issue of Glamour will have Dr Nuttjobs latest crash diet guaranteed, whatever happened to storing up for the winter?

Perhaps the only answer is to just sit at home warm and cosy with the heating on full blast, don’t work, drink or give a fudge about your how much you’re eating.
Alternatively you could just stop believing everything you read in the media, take it easy and try not to kill yourself.

Bad Reputation

Everyone’s got a bit of bad in them. Whether it’s our rebellious teen streak, or simply craving excitement, at some point we all do something we know is wrong.
Some justify it with a ‘devil may care’ attitude, e.g. the bad boy/bad girl look, ultimately giving them a tone of mystery.
Maybe it’s a glimmer of a darker element in their past? Either way, this can often be mistaken for something worse, usually making the individual a target.

Sometimes slipping up once at the wrong time can mean you are automatically put into a category, the same goes for who you associate with or your financial background.
Like it or not, that’s society and they are soon to judge and discriminate. Personally, I prefer to know the person before I make a judgement and we all know others that would say the same - whether they meant it or not.

Since the 80s people have been brought up in a world focused around me, what I want and how I’m going to get it. Commercialised in their own little world and often brainwashed to worry only about one.
If, anyone stands in their way, they are the bad guy. The media is excellent for demonstrating these examples to the ever gullible viewer. With picture perfect beauty on screen everybody wants it, of course the media like any good religion knows how to make you desire the unobtainable and like the good book itself - has a formula.
Every formula, metaphorically speaking or otherwise, has ingredients, what we would refer to as categories. In early childhood years we all learn the meaning of people, categories and stereotypes, with the media promptly chuffing out these formulas every day, how will people learn any different?

For five long teenager years I indulged in the Goth scene, white face, black eyes, red lipstick, lace, leather, funky multi-colour hairstyles...Whilst associating with moshers, clubbers, pill heads, stoners and what we referred to as ‘metal heads’. Inspired by Marilyn Manson and his awesome ‘tainted love’ cover when I was 13, it spiralled on and sometimes out of control until I was 19.
Whilst I chained smoked and stomped around in my ½ stone each boots, I used to wonder why so many people used to give me dirty looks and sometimes yell abuse.
Knowing that I was actually a good person, wasn’t a devil worshipper and didn’t slit my wrists was more then so many of them could believe, because...I surely didn’t look like it.
Either way, being a badass looking goth automatically gives you a bad reputation.

The persona has carried on, even though I left the look behind. Ok, so I smile more :-D
That’s a given. But I suppose everybody carries a piece of their past with them forever. The question is should they be judged and ridiculed for their reputation...true or otherwise, how do you really know?

Star Crossed Lover Syndrome

(The wonderful delights of the 16 and unders)

It seems that when most teenagers hit the ‘tender’ age of sixteen, they are so desperate to find love that they cannot wait to declare it the second they are in a relationship.
Whether they are aware of what love really is or not, they cannot wait to share their glory on Facebook.
Of course, anyone under the age of 16 declaring the same should (quite bluntly) just be ignored and if said words will leave their lips it should just be considered a consequence of their hormones (Whore moans).

I blame the media, film industry and Shakespeare for this. Every time you turn on the TV there’s some sap declaring his love for some dim witted school girl and then they live happily ever after. Just a quick tip- this never EVER happens, only in super special cases!
Oh, and did you ever notice that at some point during your teens you will undoubtedly have a brief relationship with Shakespeare? And did you ever notice, that more often than not, the play in which you have this relationship with is Romeo and Juliet?
Two lusted up twits from fair Verona, Romeo a boy of 18 and Juliet a child of 13. Who amazing fall in love, get married and die in only four days! Shakespeare is like subliminal messaging to teens; they don’t understand it, but their being brainwashed.

On that note, have you noticed the films of today have adopted the same romanticised formula of Shakespeare’s original? To name a few: Westside Story, Ghost, The Notebook, Brokeback Mountain... and if you think that’s all sissy girly stuff. Take a closer look at the film Underworld, its vampires and werewolves with Romeo and Juliet.

Now, to all those that might be 16 or under and getting slightly offended, because they really really do love their boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 whole weeks, Romeo and Juliet is fiction, movies are fiction and most likely your feelings...wait for it...are fiction!
And to all those parents who have/had a teenager declaring the same thing and have tried to make them see sense, do/did you ever hear those righteous words, “You don’t understand” followed by a storming out of the room and a very loud and abrupt slamming of the door?
Aw, the blessed signs of star-crossed lover’s syndrome!

Two weeks (or so) later the relationship has ended and as expected they are undoubtedly heartbroken and claim they will never love again, this lasts until the next one comes along; which on a rough estimate is about one week to a month and then the cycle begins...again!

If anyone is indeed offended by what I have written, please know that I don’t really give a damn; teenagers weren’t built to handle the truth. That’s what your twenties are for; and even then people still struggle between fact and fiction. This is quite simply an understanding, backed up by experience.