(Forrest Gump 1994) “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
The same can be said for online dating, the dangerous online domain of peedos, perverts, freaks, desperate singles and perhaps good honest people looking for a companion?
Initially, joining PlentyofFish.com was an experiment, purely as a project for producing some good writing material, having a laugh and giggle...and if I’m really honest... an ego boost.
Amongst the reams of single men, looking for a relationship or a quickie, I decided it would be best to see who contacted me, instead of contacting others. Consequently upon signing up, within one hour 36 attractive and butt ugly men e-mailed me; at least the ego boost box was ticked.
Naturally I find people who are creative or funny are always ones to continue a good conversation with, so out of the 36 (which rapidly kept increasing after the days passed); I stuck to speaking with a few bachelors in their 20s.
As time persisted I began to question my decision on signing up. With the Blackberry flashing new e-mails all day everyday and more and more older married men asking if I fancied meeting up for a drink, I began to wonder what sort of sick twisted world we lived in.
More questions began to form like: Is their display picture a copy and paste from Google Images? Is he really a web developer for Virgin Media or a ginger munching cannibal? Is this one of my friends/enemies pulling some sick joke?
Paranoia firmly intact, there was no chance in hell I was going to meet up with any of these men, before I was 100% sure that they wouldn’t slip a pill into my drink while I was rummaging through my handbag or the 82 year old man in Starbucks wouldn’t announce he was my date for the evening.
After a week on the site I started chatting with a very nice, funny bloke from Peterborough, 21, good looking and very interested. Gradually, after a few days my trust grew and I decided to give in my mobile.
The next day (Mon) a received a text from *Adrian* asking me: How I was, what I was up to and whether I fancied meeting him for dinner on Friday? I agreed.
Within that week, I was bombarded with texts, phone calls and the latter; all day and night!
By Friday I was seriously considering not going out on this date, when...He text me telling me he was going to be late...minutes later texting again asking if I could meet him somewhere else other than the restaurant...soon again, telling me that we would be meeting at the bowling alley in Bretton near his house.
Now, I’m not the type to start labelling people, but this guy was really starting to sound a little bit insane! After declining and nicely suggesting that we met somewhere more public. He freaked out and began accusing me of calling him a child for suggesting the bowling alley. Unfortunately for him I’m not a very calm person for long, so I bluntly told him that I thought he could be a rapist and to f*** off... or so I thought.
After meeting some friends later to tell them about the entire ordeal and show them the texts, I realised I called him a racist by mistake!
So, if you ever find yourself about to embark on a date with a total stranger that seems like a complete and utter psycho, call them a racist and you will ultimately get yourself off the hook.
In the four weeks that I remained on this site, there wasn’t really anyone else that psychotic to report on other than a few losers aiming way out of their league and what can be perceived as few decent men looking for love.
Understanding now that I’ve probably scared you away from the online dating trend for life I will close with one positive.
It’s an excellent way of finding out that the hot guy you met in December is single and looking, or at least... he was ;-)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Star Crossed Lover Syndrome
(The wonderful delights of the 16 and unders)
It seems that when most teenagers hit the ‘tender’ age of sixteen, they are so desperate to find love that they cannot wait to declare it the second they are in a relationship.
Whether they are aware of what love really is or not, they cannot wait to share their glory on Facebook.
Of course, anyone under the age of 16 declaring the same should (quite bluntly) just be ignored and if said words will leave their lips it should just be considered a consequence of their hormones (Whore moans).
I blame the media, film industry and Shakespeare for this. Every time you turn on the TV there’s some sap declaring his love for some dim witted school girl and then they live happily ever after. Just a quick tip- this never EVER happens, only in super special cases!
Oh, and did you ever notice that at some point during your teens you will undoubtedly have a brief relationship with Shakespeare? And did you ever notice, that more often than not, the play in which you have this relationship with is Romeo and Juliet?
Two lusted up twits from fair Verona, Romeo a boy of 18 and Juliet a child of 13. Who amazing fall in love, get married and die in only four days! Shakespeare is like subliminal messaging to teens; they don’t understand it, but their being brainwashed.
On that note, have you noticed the films of today have adopted the same romanticised formula of Shakespeare’s original? To name a few: Westside Story, Ghost, The Notebook, Brokeback Mountain... and if you think that’s all sissy girly stuff. Take a closer look at the film Underworld, its vampires and werewolves with Romeo and Juliet.
Now, to all those that might be 16 or under and getting slightly offended, because they really really do love their boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 whole weeks, Romeo and Juliet is fiction, movies are fiction and most likely your feelings...wait for it...are fiction!
And to all those parents who have/had a teenager declaring the same thing and have tried to make them see sense, do/did you ever hear those righteous words, “You don’t understand” followed by a storming out of the room and a very loud and abrupt slamming of the door?
Aw, the blessed signs of star-crossed lover’s syndrome!
Two weeks (or so) later the relationship has ended and as expected they are undoubtedly heartbroken and claim they will never love again, this lasts until the next one comes along; which on a rough estimate is about one week to a month and then the cycle begins...again!
If anyone is indeed offended by what I have written, please know that I don’t really give a damn; teenagers weren’t built to handle the truth. That’s what your twenties are for; and even then people still struggle between fact and fiction. This is quite simply an understanding, backed up by experience.
It seems that when most teenagers hit the ‘tender’ age of sixteen, they are so desperate to find love that they cannot wait to declare it the second they are in a relationship.
Whether they are aware of what love really is or not, they cannot wait to share their glory on Facebook.
Of course, anyone under the age of 16 declaring the same should (quite bluntly) just be ignored and if said words will leave their lips it should just be considered a consequence of their hormones (Whore moans).
I blame the media, film industry and Shakespeare for this. Every time you turn on the TV there’s some sap declaring his love for some dim witted school girl and then they live happily ever after. Just a quick tip- this never EVER happens, only in super special cases!
Oh, and did you ever notice that at some point during your teens you will undoubtedly have a brief relationship with Shakespeare? And did you ever notice, that more often than not, the play in which you have this relationship with is Romeo and Juliet?
Two lusted up twits from fair Verona, Romeo a boy of 18 and Juliet a child of 13. Who amazing fall in love, get married and die in only four days! Shakespeare is like subliminal messaging to teens; they don’t understand it, but their being brainwashed.
On that note, have you noticed the films of today have adopted the same romanticised formula of Shakespeare’s original? To name a few: Westside Story, Ghost, The Notebook, Brokeback Mountain... and if you think that’s all sissy girly stuff. Take a closer look at the film Underworld, its vampires and werewolves with Romeo and Juliet.
Now, to all those that might be 16 or under and getting slightly offended, because they really really do love their boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 whole weeks, Romeo and Juliet is fiction, movies are fiction and most likely your feelings...wait for it...are fiction!
And to all those parents who have/had a teenager declaring the same thing and have tried to make them see sense, do/did you ever hear those righteous words, “You don’t understand” followed by a storming out of the room and a very loud and abrupt slamming of the door?
Aw, the blessed signs of star-crossed lover’s syndrome!
Two weeks (or so) later the relationship has ended and as expected they are undoubtedly heartbroken and claim they will never love again, this lasts until the next one comes along; which on a rough estimate is about one week to a month and then the cycle begins...again!
If anyone is indeed offended by what I have written, please know that I don’t really give a damn; teenagers weren’t built to handle the truth. That’s what your twenties are for; and even then people still struggle between fact and fiction. This is quite simply an understanding, backed up by experience.
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